I Quit This Full Time Job.

It is raining rather loudly outside.
The strong wind takes over and cuts off the thin lines of falling raindrops.
Autumn vibes 101.

Last year, I had taken a big step and I broke free from emotional dependence. I felt like I had become a new person and strived for a better social life. Coming off as being cool, chill and emotionally independent was my full time job. I enhanced how I appeared in social settings. It worked.

But recently I quit it because I've finally understood the importance of being genuine.

I slowly began to love sharing my embarrassing past events.
It has become a pleasure to share about how I handled (more like couldn't handle) my breakup with the first 'boyfriend' in 9th grade who I was madly and obsessively in love with, the fact that I suffered from anxiety and depression in the final years of high school, and how I was temporary overweight at 16. I would show a photo of my over-weight self to others and laugh about how I once ripped the seam of my tights when I sat down.
I now express my strange philosophy to others. Last night, my poor friend was stuck with me talking d&m about physical intimacy the whole night as we had a cute sleep over.

Individuality is kind of nice. Being real is pretty cool.

Just half a year ago, the thought of sharing these stories had got me feeling insecure and exposed as fuck. I've always known I was kind of weird. But I hid it, which subconsciously made me feel guilty about being that way.

But honestly, who gave a damn? Most probably just myself.