Tuesday, 31 March 2015

Favourite quote.

"For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be.

There's no time limit, stop whenever you want.

You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing.

We can make the best or the worst of it.

I hope you make the best of it.

And I hope you see things that startle you.

I hope you feel things you never felt before.

I hope you meet people with a different point of view.

I hope you live a life you're proud of.

If you find that you're not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again."

Eric Roth




Sunday, 1 March 2015

I Quit This Full Time Job.

It is raining rather loudly outside.
The strong wind takes over and cuts off the thin lines of falling raindrops.
Autumn vibes 101.

Last year, I had taken a big step and I broke free from emotional dependence. I felt like I had become a new person and strived for a better social life. Coming off as being cool, chill and emotionally independent was my full time job. I enhanced how I appeared in social settings. It worked.

But recently I quit it because I've finally understood the importance of being genuine.

I slowly began to love sharing my embarrassing past events.
It has become a pleasure to share about how I handled (more like couldn't handle) my breakup with the first 'boyfriend' in 9th grade who I was madly and obsessively in love with, the fact that I suffered from anxiety and depression in the final years of high school, and how I was temporary overweight at 16. I would show a photo of my over-weight self to others and laugh about how I once ripped the seam of my tights when I sat down.
I now express my strange philosophy to others. Last night, my poor friend was stuck with me talking d&m about physical intimacy the whole night as we had a cute sleep over.

Individuality is kind of nice. Being real is pretty cool.

Just half a year ago, the thought of sharing these stories had got me feeling insecure and exposed as fuck. I've always known I was kind of weird. But I hid it, which subconsciously made me feel guilty about being that way.

But honestly, who gave a damn? Most probably just myself.