Back.

I'm back. For the past few weeks (jokes, months) I've been super busy. Super super 'busy'..

Updates:
-I'm now a single woman.
-Had photo shoots.
-Threw a few more things into my bucket list.
-Completed the makeup & beauty course.

1. Being single.
So, I am enjoying the single life. It's not about hooking up with random cuties on night outs, but it's more about the sense of independence. After being with the ex for three years, I felt like my identity was slowly dissolving into him. I went through many issues and I emotionally relied on him, too much. I was also too young for this kind of love because I'd barely experienced the life as an independent person.

The break up just had to happen for a few core reasons that didn't involve betrayal. The talk consisted of serious discussions and a shower of compliments. "I still think you're great!" Just like that, we listed positive features about each other. We ended on a good note, and we both checked whether we were feeling okay. Giggling from the inside joke that was created during the talk, we said a friendly bye. I bursted into tears for a few minutes by myself once I came back into my room.

Two weeks into the single life, I depend on myself only and I have my own world. This is ridiculously refreshing although a little bit of loneliness kicks in every now and then.

2. Photo shoots.
I'd had a photo shoot with a professional photographer with a few friends for fun.
Then I had another one after being approached by a photographer, seeing my Facebook updates about the previous photo shoot.

Here are some of the shots from the second one.

I had so much fun!

Extra: Here's me being cold, covered in a shit load of coconut oil.

Photographs by Kenneth Looi.

3. Additions to my bucket list. 
I've been spending time with some inspiring people, and also had read lots of articles and blog posts that encouraged me to really get adventurous.

Added plans:
-Europe trip.
-Go on a global vulnteering program within the next two years to a poorer country, possibly Cambodia.

I'm hungry for experiences.

4. Makeup and Beauty course. 
Done and dusted. Looking for a job in the industry but been unable to do so due to my shit resume. Yes, I better fix it up asap rocky (been saying that for 4 weeks now).

The "Fully Functioning Person" Model.

I learnt an interesting topic in a Social and Personality Psychology lecture this week.

In humanistic psychology, the focus is on humanity and higher end of people (unlike other approaches where mental abnormalities are in center of concern). For example, emphases lay upon human potential, happiness and creativity.

A Psychologist, Carl Rogers asserted the "Fully Functioning Person" model. Because he believes in the fact that all people are born with positive intentions, he believed in the positive nature of humans.

 According to Rogers, a 'Fully-Functioning Person' has:

1. Openness to experience.
-Non-censoring/non-defensive attitude.
-Receptive to both subjective and objective experiences.

2. Existential living.
-"Increasing tendency to live fully in each moment" (Rogers, 1961).
-Living in the present, not past or future.
-Constant process of 'becoming'.
-Focus on direction rather than destination.

3. Organismic trusting.
-Trusting oneself and not relying on others.
-"Doing what 'feels right'".

4. Experiential freedom.
-Subject freedom of choice in each moment.
-Not pressured by need's and should's.

5. Creativity.
-Creative living.
-Living non-habitually & in your own way.

By a 'Fully-Functioning Person', Rogers means an individual who has the same life intentions as an infant; comfortable in their own skin, living with no 'mask' and has a positive outlook on life.

I believe his proposal about such positive human nature is excellent. It sure sounds like the way a happy person lives by.

Cameo Shorts.

Halter Top (Urban Outfitters) + All My Days Short (Cameo)

I was one of the many unlucky people who never wins giveaways or competitions, until I won these lovely Cameo shorts from the online store Zara Bryson. They came in a gorgeous little white box with a pink ribbon around it, which was super exciting to open. 

I was actually planning on purchasing these shorts so I am way too happy to have won them.
I just love the shorts; the lace details and the shape.. unf!

Yuka

The Girlfriendzone & Faux Friendships.

*Amen to the person that created the word and given the definition above.*

I'd always despised being 'girlfriendzoned'. When I read this extremely relevant article "Dudes, Stop Putting Women in the Girlfriendzone",  it was clear that my  ~slightly feminist side~ had to stand up for such behaviour and post a linked status on Facebook (what a hero).

I have always disliked it when guys wanted to 'befriend' me with the intention without knowing me in the first place (ok maybe just the seedy ones but anyway). "They only see a girl as a potential girlfriend (or sexual partner) and not a friend", they do not see the girl as a whole. For example, when acquaintances or people you just met try to act all nice with unnecessary body contacts, I can sense it that I am being 'girlfriendzoned'. Once they understand that I am uninterested in what they expect, yes, they lose complete interest in me as a human being.

So, there was a little debate which took place on my Facebook post; this is where I had realised there were a multiple ways to perceive this issue. I'd like to assert that I'm not talking about the 'rejections' girls get nor denying the right for guys to pursuit their feelings for someone, but the fact that those guys lose interest in a girl as a person when they find out that she will not fulfil their relationship status and sexual desires or whatever else. And it's a turn-off of them as a person.

I believe that, sometimes it's okay when the intentions are reciprocal and it does really depend on social situations. When you are in places like night clubs and parties where you go to have fun and you both find each other sexually attractive - it's okay. It's like you see a guy and don't see any deep relationship to be developed but take advantage of the situation & mutual intention anyway.

I just do not like being 'Girlfriendzoned' by randoms and new acquaintances in a socially inappropriate manner. It just feels uncomfortable.

Observations.

via @kirstycane (Instagram)

Findings:
-Getting along with people is all about chemistry.
-There is nothing more attractive as a person than knowing and being who they are, with confidence.


So I have began attending a beauty course at TAFE this month while studying at uni, and I have noticed that I see a more diverse range of people in terms of age, nationality, personality and their sense of self-awareness in my classes than in university.

There are many characters in my regular classes. There is an awkwardly anxious girl who I think is too nice and tend to always match her opinions according to others', the ones who are self-aware and does not stop being themselves around anyone or any situation even if they could or could not speak English well, the younger girls with younger minds, the happy asians who have positive mindsets and are randomly funny, and those who I have no idea what they are thinking of.

There is this girl who is not particularly outstanding at English, but has pretty damn good interpersonal and communication skills. She is also being herself at all times and always seem to speak up her questions, thoughts and opinions without care in regard to other people's judgments at all; I have always wanted to be like her when I had suffered from some anxiety issues. I have been spending the first two weeks with her and a few other lovely people, and I am happy I have met them.

How Do You Define Yourself?

How Do YOU Define Yourself - Lizzie Velasquez at TEDxAustinWomen

This talk made me cry. Everyone needs to watch this.
 It's amazing how much strength, courage and the determination she has. It is amazing how ignorant people can be. 

This is an inspiration on how I will be raising my children, and also gave me an opportunity to reflect on how I perceive myself. 

You define yourself.

She is so lovely. I admire the 'fighting spirit' that her mum had embedded within her.